A Guide to Children Ages 4-5

Between ages 4 and 5, your child is getting ready for school. They're mastering physical skills like running and jumping, developing independence in the kitchen and bathroom, and learning to manage their emotions.

Your child is capable of so much, and they're eager to show you what they can do.

We’ve created a keepsake form that you and your child can fill out together to talk about how much they’ve grown and everything they can do on their own!

This guide covers feeding, physical development, emotional growth, and safety during this important year before kindergarten.

Quick Links

• Feeding your child
• Helping in the kitchen
• Food groups and servings
• Quick family meals
• Development and physical activity
• Safety and health

Key Takeaways

• Growing independence: Your child can help make their own lunch and use simple kitchen tools.
• Physical activity matters: Your child needs active play — running, jumping, climbing, and playing games — every day.
• Division of responsibility: You decide what, when, and where food is offered. Your child decides if they'll eat and how much.
• Don't use food for comfort: When your child needs comforting, use time, attention, and hugs instead of sweets or other treats.
• Dessert isn't a reward: Offer dessert at the same time as the meal so your child can choose what to eat.
• Offer low-fat milk: All milk has the same nutrition and vitamin D.
• Balance screen time: Make sure screen time does not take the place of sleep, active play or learning.

Feeding Your Child

To make eating enjoyable and help your child do their best with eating, let them decide what to eat and how much to eat from the healthy foods you offer.

Provide your child with structure by

• Having regular family meals and snacks
• Including a variety of healthy foods

Other feeding tips

• Don't save dessert for last. Offer it at the same time as the meal so your child can pick and choose what they want to eat.
• Trust your child. Give your child the power to decide what and how much to eat from the foods you offer.
• Be a role model. If you eat healthy foods, your child will, too. If you enjoy being active, your child will, too.
• Limit distractions. Turn off the TV during meals and snacks as much as possible.

Food and emotions

Show your child you love them with your time, attention, hugs, and kisses. Talk with them. When they need comforting, use hugs and conversation, not sweets or other foods.

Using food to comfort or reward can create unhealthy relationships with eating. Your child learns to eat for emotional reasons instead of hunger.

Helping in the Kitchen

Your 4-year-old can do more in the kitchen than you might think. Letting them help makes them more excited about eating and teaches valuable skills.

How they can contribute

• Spread peanut butter on bread.
• Cut soft foods with a plastic knife.
• Peel hard-boiled eggs, oranges, and bananas.
• Wash fruits and vegetables.
• Use cookie cutters to create fun shapes with sandwiches.

Your child feels proud when they help make their own food and is more likely to eat what they prepared.

Food Groups and Servings

Quick Family Meals

When life gets busy, try these quick and easy meals. Your child can help make them.

Development and Physical Activity

Your 4-year-old is mastering physical skills, developing emotionally, and getting ready for school. Every child develops at their own pace.

Here's what's typical at this age and how you can support your child.

Physical skills

Your child is becoming more coordinated and confident in their body. They can run, jump, climb, and play active games. Encourage this! Physical activity helps them build strength and learn what their body can do.

It’s important to be active as a family

Make movement part of your family routine. If it's cold or rainy outside, dance or do jumping jacks to music indoors.

Other ways to get active:

• Play tag, hide-and-seek, or follow the leader.
• Cook or clean together.
• Go for walks or bike rides.
• Play at the park.

Use screens in a balanced way. Make sure screen time doesn’t take the place of sleep, learning, or active play. This helps kids stay healthy and have time to move and play.

Independence

Your child wants to do more for themselves. Let them help in the kitchen, choose their clothes, and take on simple responsibilities. This builds confidence and life skills.

Emotional growth

Children are learning to manage big feelings. They need your support to work through frustration, disappointment, and excitement.

Use hugs, conversation, and time together — not food — to help them through emotional moments.

Safety and Health

Doctor and dentist visits

Take your child for regular check-ups with their doctor and dentist.

Dental care

Brush your child's teeth twice a day with a small, soft toothbrush and a pea-sized amount of fluoride toothpaste. Floss their teeth every day.

Handwashing

Remind your child to wash their hands often. Washing hands helps everyone stay healthy. They should wash for 15-20 seconds — about the time it takes to sing “Row, Row, Row Your Boat.”

Choking hazards

Make sure foods are cut small enough, so your child won't choke.

Common choking hazards:

• Hard or chewy candy
• Uncut or bone-in meats
• Uncut or uncooked fruits and vegetables
• Popcorn (substitute dry puff corn instead)
• Whole nuts (try ground or chopped nuts instead)

Car safety

Use the right car seat for your child's size.

• Harnessed seat: Your child should remain in a harnessed car seat if they haven't reached the height and weight limits.
• Booster seat: If your child has met the height and weight limits of their harnessed car seat, they should be in a belt-positioning booster seat.

Avoid feeding your child in their car set. They could choke.

Building a safe environment

• Keep harmful things out of reach: hot pots and pans, batteries, medicines, detergents, and anything that could be a choking hazard.
• Keep your child away from tobacco, vaping, and marijuana smoke.